The Wallflower Syndrome

Post 51 of 1732

December is here my friends and the party season is upon us. The festive cheer and excitement can be felt in the air and it pleases all of us… or does it? Here’s a little bit of a secret; there are some among us, as rare as they might be, who do not like the party season at all! We might even go as far as to say that they completely despise it. Nupur Jaisinghani discusses a truly rare kind of person, one who shares this viewpoint when it comes to parties and this particular month in Dubai

The question that arises at this point of the conversation is how exactly does an anti social person survive the madness and chaos of the festive season. The answer to that is a lot more complicated than one would imagine. Let us start with the basics

The Excuse

One must always have an excuse at the ready. If you happen to be single and wish to escape from a party with your friends, you can always say that you have a mandatory work event to attend. If it is the work event that you want to skip, then use the ‘my-family-is-in-town-to-see-me’ excuse; works like a charm every time. Elizabeth,
31, a media professional is someone who uses this trick quite frequently. “I tell the folks at work that I have family in town and I tell my friends that I have work obligations. The party season gets to me and I do everything I can to avoid going out. Celebrating the festival is one thing, but when there is a party every second day, excuses need to be made. I’d much rather sit at home, order take out and watch movies.”

Smile and Wave

Excuses fail sometimes and more often than not, people of the wallflower variety find themselves being forced to attend parties and seasonal festivities simply because they could not get out of them. The best way to deal with the chaos that comes with parties is to smile and fake it. It may sound simple enough, but it is the most effective. When at a party that you are being forced to attend, grab a drink and find a person who does not make you want to roll your eyes throughout the night. Engage that person in conversation. We understand that sparkling conversation might not entirely be possible, but trying never hurt anyone. Find your person and
stick to them.

The Conversation Starter

If breaking the ice when it comes to party conversations is something you find difficult, we have a few ideas for you. Research shows that asking people personal details always seems to do the trick. Ask them if they have any pets, where they grew up, what books they like to read or what movies they like to watch. Questions like
these are guaranteed to keep them engaged, which always works to your advantage.

‘Me’ Activities

Finding your own personal zen when at a party is a bit of a challenge. We recommend finding a wall you like and sticking to it as you enjoy the finger food that is being passed around and the music. People watching is another activity that is sure to kill time when you’re waiting to clock in your obligatory 30 minutes of ‘showing face’ before you can make a quick exit. Notice people’s mannerisms, their behavior before they indulge in bubbly and after. It makes for good entertainment if nothing else. Lucy, 35, is a teacher who absolutely despises going to holiday parties. “My husband is the more outgoing one between the two of us and I get dragged to several of the shindigs that he has to attend. I usually just find a corner and nurse my drink while he circulates. My years of being a spectator have taught me that people behave rather differently when they’ve indulged a bit too
much. It is really funny to watch the way some people just change.”

A Seasonal Switch

There could potentially be several reasons for a wallflower’s anti-social behavior, but a quick chat with a few people reveals that this is a seasonal and circumstantial occurrence. Jill, 40, a finance professional, rolled her eyes when asked if being anti-social was her usual modus operandi. “No. I’m an outgoing person for the most part, but it’s this season that brings out my anti-social side. There are just too many parties and every time, it’s the same people and the same conversations. It takes a toll on me. I know quite a few people like me who do not like the festive season for this particular reason. I prefer spending quality time with close friends and family to celebrate festivals, but the whole party scene does not work for me.”

There is no doubt that the holiday season can be gruesome, which is why one of the best tactics is to make a list of all the parties that you have been invited to. From that list, proceed to weed out the few parties where you
know attendance is mandatory. Select a few parties to attend and stick to that list. We assure you, it’s the most painless way to get through the party season.

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