With the new year approaching, most of us begin thinking about what we want to change. We may want to look for a new job, join a gym, eat healthier, take a new course, save money or sign up for some other kind of challenge. Yet, when it comes to our relationships, an important area for most of us, we don’t make any resolutions or plans. Which can be detrimental because a bad relationship can impact our health, self-esteem and overall happiness, while a good one can make us feel alive and thrive in all areas. So, whether you are in a relationship right now or seeking for your soul mate, Nicola Beer urges us to follow three steps for relationship bliss in the next year
CREATE A VISION
In order to achieve anything in life we need to know what it is we truly want. What do you want your relationship life to be like a week, a month, six months or three years from now? What would you like to experience more or less of? If this is too difficult for you to answer think back to the best times you have ever had romantically. What were you doing? How were you treating your partner and how were they treating you? List down everything that you know would increase your relationship happiness. For your vision, you don’t want to waste time focusing on anything that is bad, wrong or not working for you. Focus on the good. My favourite question I always like to ask myself is, “Nicola, what would need to happen in your relationship between now and the end of the next six months for it to have been the best months in your life?” Be honest with yourself here. If you could transform
your relationship into your ideal or find your perfect partner, if you are currently single, what would need to be happening for you to feel excited, happy and fulfilled?
SHAPE YOUR RELATIONSHIP DESTINY WITH A DECISION
Consider some of your major accomplishments in life. Your education, career, finances and even sporting achievements. At some point you would have had to make a decision, you may have had a vision of what you wanted but without a decision it would have stayed just that, a vision. All success starts with a decision. The decisions that we make shape our lives and create our future. Just like what we decide to eat will shape our bodies. What we decide to do in our relationships will shape the quality and happiness we gain from it. As when you commit yourself fully you are more likely to take the action needed to succeed. As Tony Robbins said, “It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.”A decision statement can make all the difference. By
making a decision statement you will have more clarity, focus, purpose, inspiration and motivation. It will help you to stay committed even when inevitable obstacles arise. So, ask yourself: “What decision can I make right now that will spur me into action and help me stay committed to having the relationship I want?” Write it down, memorize it, put it on your mirror and recite it daily.
ACT AND RECEIVE
Now that you have your vision and decision, what are you going to do to make it a reality? What actions can you take now towards your plan? Research, read, learn; every act you take towards what you want is important. By taking no action you are also acting. Many people in unhappy relationships wait for their partner to change first, give what it is that you wish to receive and they will reciprocate. Remember you make up 50% of a relationship and that backed with a powerful vision, decision and loving acts can influence a relationship by 90%. I see it happen all the time. I love this quote by Ken Levine, “We all make choices, but in the end our choices make us.” What will you choose for your love life this month and next year? What would you love to experience and have happen? Make it so.