A Casual Encounter

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From college campuses to the internet, modern courtship is changing fast. Traditional dating has taken a backseat to no-strings- attached fun, prompting debate whether this depicts empowerment. Shweta Bhatia discovers more

Urban scape has seen more women taking control of their love lives and opting for casual relationships. Some feel that they don’t have the time or energy required to maintain a committed relationship. Others have been left to navigate the ‘friends with benefits’ waters. There are still certain rules of the casual relationship that are strictly followed by both parties to avoid disaster.

Every two people enter a casual relationship for different reasons. Some like to keep it platonic while others don’t. But there are a few trends that apply to every casual romantic encounter.

Busy lives, full time jobs, education or massive commitment issues. They don’t want the full time obligation of having a boyfriend. “I work in the field of fashion. My timings are erratic and my schedule is unpredictable. I’m in a casual relationship and it works for me, as I don’t need to report every activity of mine to my partner. I don’t have to explain a reason on why I don’t want to have dinner with his family, why I don’t want to go on a holiday, why I must work late. Active dating takes time, energy and effort and in this situation, I’m able to save all this,” says Afsheen, 25.

Women, who enter this pact, determine their boundaries and are clear about their expectations. “Before I entered my current relationship, I was very clear that I value my schedule and daily routine and I will not be changing things around at the last moment. Unless I’m told about a plan two to three days before, I entertain it or else I just meet on the weekends. It’s the same with him. We aren’t like soppy lovers who call each other everyday. If I don’t speak to him for two days, it’s fine,” Maha, 31, shares. They are aware of the fact that they don’t owe their partner anything and they aren’t afraid to voice that opinion.

Women recognize that all these arrangements have a shelf life. They realize that this is not a permanent solution to their relationship needs. “My partner and I can never get married as my parents would never allow it. He is aware of this before we started our relationship. We have also talked about the fact that the day, we find our life partners, we shall part ways on a good note,” Rebecca, 29, says. These women enter and keep thoughts of love out of the ‘relationship’ and when the time comes, they choose to move on.